How to Break Up With Someone Respectfully

September 30, 2019 by  
Filed under Dating Tips, Featured

how to break up with someone

Relationships typically start out much easier than they end. This is because it’s new and exciting and you can’t stop giving each other knowing glances. But rarely does a relationship last forever, and that means you will inevitably experience a break up
at some point in your life; perhaps several times. Learning how to break up with someone is a life skill we all need to master.

It can be even harder to break up when you will be the one responsible for the end of your relationship, but nobody enjoys breaking up with someone. It can be painful and messy and lead to even more heartache than you intended for either of you. That is why you should learn now how to break up with someone properly.

There are several reasons why you may feel it’s time to break up with your significant other, such as continuous conflict or different values or beliefs, or maybe you have just grown apart. Regardless of the reason for your breakup, it does not mean you can’t learn how to break up with someone as respectfully as possible. And what better time to do that than the present?  We will gladly teach you the ways of a respectful breakup so you can part amicably.  After all, you did (most likely) share plenty of pleasant memories with your significant other, so let’s try to end this in the best way possible.

Why Should You Learn How to Break Up with Someone Respectfully?

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Relationships are a growing and learning experience, whether they are good or bad. This is just a part of why you should learn how to break up with someone respectfully. And, simply put, it will help both you and your partner move on in a much more pleasant way if you can make the breakup amicable.

It is important to be honest with each other, but also to be honest with yourself and why you need to break up with a person. Once you have figured out what it is you want, you need to take the next step of knowing the proper way to convey your feelings to your boyfriend or girlfriend without making the situation worse than it needs to be.  

You need to not only respect their feelings, but respect your own; and part of that means you need to learn how to break up with someone in a respectful way. This will save a lot of heartache for yourself and your partner.

Tips for Breaking Up in a Graceful, Respectful Way

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It may seem like breaking up with someone in a “respectful” way can be an oxymoron, since no one likes to be broken up with. But we promise that there is a way to break up gracefully, and that is where our guidelines for how to break up with someone comes in. They are basically the DO’s of breaking up, so follow them wisely.

Think Through What You Want and Why

You need to be aware of your feelings on this matter and what it is you want before you go on with any type of break up. And, even more importantly, you need to be clear about why you want it. It’s no secret that your soon-to-be-ex-partner will potentially be hurt by your decision to end things, but you still have to do what is right for you. Just think through what you want to say and how to properly say it without making things worse.

Be Honest, but Don’t Be Unnecessarily Mean

Try to start out by listing the qualities about them that drew them to you in the first place. This will help to make them understand that you do care about them and that there were good times in your relationship. Then follow up with your reasons for wanting to move on from each other. Be firm, but don’t point out all the things about them you aren’t a fan of. It will only make things worse.

Always Do It in Person, but Not Publicly

It is more mature and better for both of your emotions to do the break up in person, so you can express how you both feel face-to-face. But make sure not to do it in a public setting because this will either lead to your partner feeling as though they can’t adequately express themselves out of fear of embarrassment, or they might lose it in a public place. Both are rather unfortunate ways to end your relationship when it could have been handled in a better way.

Talk to Your Support System

Never shut yourself off from other people, especially those who care about you, when you are going through something as tough as a break up. You don’t have to be strong all the time, especially in an instance such as this.  Just make sure it is someone you truly trust, and then, once they’re done listening to you, make sure you listen to them and the advice they give you. It may help you through this difficult circumstance.

Things to Avoid Doing While Breaking Up with Someone

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Just as there are certain things you should make sure you do when you are breaking up with your partner, there are also things you should avoid doing that could make the break up so much worse than it needs to be. You never want to leave your S.O. with a bad taste in their mouth and tarnish the good memories you had together. So when learning how to break up with someone, be sure to follow this list of DON’T guidelines.

Never Avoid Them to Avoid the Break Up

Dragging out an already difficult situation will only make it that much harder for both of you. If they feel you are avoiding them, it will leave them confused and hurt, when you could have just ended things in a better way. Also, people can sometimes let things slip, and you would never want your boyfriend or girlfriend to find out about the break up from someone else before you could even talk to them.

Don’t Make Them Feel Better during the Break Up

It obviously shouldn’t be your responsibility to make them feel better once you are no longer a couple, but it also may come across badly to them and only make them feel worse about the situation. Being nice while dumping them will probably only make them resent you.

Do Not Jump into a Break Up before You’re Ready

When learning how to break up with someone, one of the more important guidelines to follow is just thinking things through before you say them. It is important to not only know what you want to say before you proceed with the break up, but how you exactly want to convey these thoughts and feelings. It will definitely make the break up process either better or worse, depending on how prepared you are.

Never Gossip or Badmouth Your Ex

A great thing to take away when learning how to break up with someone is always be respectful. That also means not talking badly about your now ex.
Regardless of how your relationship was, or even how the break up went, never gossip about your ex or badmouth them to other people. You wouldn’t want them doing the same about you to their friends; you’d only want them to speak positively about you and the time you spent together. Plus, it will hurt your chances of ever being friends again down the line.


robot holding broken heart

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The best rule to follow when ending a relationship is what we learned in grade school: treat others the way you would want to be treated. This is especially true when we’re talking about someone you care about that you had a relationship with. So, unless they did something heinous, you need to follow these rules that teach you how to break up with someone respectfully.

They may have done things that angered you or hurt you, but unless it was something unforgivable, it is better to part ways without causing even more issues to an already awful situation.

You also always need to remember that you deserve to have your own feelings about the break up, even if you are the one who initiated it. It does not make it any easier for you because you are the “dumper” when you know something you cherished at one point is now over.  You are allowed to have your feelings while still being kind, respectful, and sensitive to your partner’s feelings.

If, for whatever reason, it still does not go as planned and your S.O. reacts negatively, as long as you did everything you could to properly end things without it escalating, you can’t blame yourself. Things don’t always go the way we want them to, and we have to accept that. But, most likely, if you follow these guidelines for how to break up with someone respectfully, you will be just fine. Trust us.

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