How to Get Over Someone

August 30, 2019 by  
Filed under When Relationships Go Bad

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Make it stop. We’ve all been there after a breakup, that confusing place where we aren’t sure where we begin and the relationship ended. How do we get that person out of our head? Breakups don’t feel good. Learning how to get over someone is the first step toward reclaiming your personal power and living well—because living well truly is the best revenge.

What Is a Breakup?

couple at the sea shore breaking up

Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

Okay, if you are here, you are looking for information about how to get over someone so you don’t really need me to tell you what a breakup is.

That heavy-hanging heart in your chest and the racing brain that won’t stop cycling over what went wrong (and possibly a heaping mound of tissues) speak for themselves. A breakup is when something that was once a big part of your world comes crashing down. A breakup feels a lot like a civil war.

Relationships are unions. When we open ourselves up to another person, we expose all the gooey vulnerable parts that are typically hidden from the outside world. In high-functioning relationships, this mutual exchange, or symbiosis if you will, of inner worlds creates a harmonious environment for the union to flourish in.

VULNERABILITY

CONFLICT

MASKS AND UNHEALTHY COMPROMISE

AUTHENTICITY 

How to Get Over Someone

We humans are social beasts. Our relationships add meaning to our lives. We feel it when someone leaves our life. It’s normal and healthy to grieve the passing of a life chapter. Knowing a few key tips on how to get over someone can cushion the fall and expedite the grieving process.

THE ESSENTIAL CONFRONTATION

ADDRESS THE GAPING HOLE

Go No Contact

Woman dialing a number through her phone

This step is easier for some than others, but it’s a crucial part of getting over someone. Going no contact isn’t a ploy to get someone back (although that sometimes works), it’s the best recovery strategy you have in your artillery.

DON’T PROLONG YOUR PAIN

HOW TO GO NO CONTACT

HOW LONG FOR NO CONTACT?

TAKE YOUR POWER BACK

Conclusion

Broken Paper heart floating in the air using a tail

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Whether it feels like it at first, a breakup is a high-five from the universe. Two people have to be on the same page to form a healthy relationship. If one or both people aren’t getting their needs met, the relationship isn’t working. No one deserves to live in a state of conflict, anxiety, or hostility.

Now that you know how to get over someone, consider all the free space it opens up in your life. You can reconnect with yourself and rediscover what makes you tick.

By owning your life you step up onto a mountain of strength and security. The people who are most compatible with you are the people who will value you for who you are. You’ll have no problem spotting a compatible mate from your newfound mountain of awesome; just look straight ahead (Don’t leave the universe hanging). 

Featured Image by Linus Schütz from Pixabay

How Does Tinder Work: The Ultimate Guide

August 18, 2019 by  
Filed under Passion Into Your Relationship

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The world of dating has seen a major shift since the creation of GPS-enabled smartphones. Mobile dating has opened up the world of Internet dating. There are several dating applications you can take advantage of, but by far the most popular platform is Tinder. It’s a free application to use (there is a pay option although it is unnecessary unless you want to have unlimited matches every single day) and it functions off of your GPS location.

tinder app phone

                                       Image Source: unsplash.com

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Before smartphones, if you were interested in meeting someone but didn’t have time to go to local mixers or try your hand at blind dates between friends of friends, you really didn’t have too many options. Computer dating was very much in its infancy and few openly talked about it. You could take part in local video exchange services, but these required you to record a video of yourself, deposit the VHS at the dating video exchange location, and see if you got any matches.

Now, though, dating is easy. How does Tinder work? You can easily create an account. You can also shut the account down any time, so if you’re interested in creating a Tinder application and seeing if it works for you, all you need to do is create your own Tinder account.

​Creating Your Tinder Profile

One of the first tasks you must take care of when learning to use Tinder work is how to create your Tinder profile. Creating a Tinder profile is quick and easy. You need to have a Facebook account to create a Tinder profile because Tinder uses Facebook to authenticate that you are who you say you are. This is because, for a time, Tinder had a problem with fake bot accounts trying to spam users; but the association with Facebook has largely eliminated this problem. How does Tinder work? Here’s what you need to know about your profile:

​How Does Tinder Work: Download the Application

Your first step must be to head to your app store and download it to your mobile device (it is free to do this, so you won’t need to pay anything to download the application). Select “Tinder” from the Google Play or App store menu and then download the app. It isn’t a large application, so it should download to your mobile device quickly, although connect to Wi-Fi before downloading just so you save on your mobile data.

selective focus photography of man and woman sitting on dining set with man kissing hand of woman

                                    Image Source: unsplash.com

How Does Tinder Work: Creating a Profile

​Now that you have the application on your mobile device, you must take the next step and create your profile. Make sure you have Facebook on your phone. If you don’t, you’ll need to download that application to your mobile device, create a profile, and upload pictures of yourself. As long as you have Facebook on your phone this should be quick and easy.

1.

​Open up Tinder. When you open Tinder up for the first time, the application will identify your device and allow you to create a new account. The front page gives you two options: to sign into a current account or to create a new account. As you don’t yet have an active Tinder account, you’ll want to create a new account.

2.

​Select to create a new account using Facebook. Tinder will now ask you to provide your Facebook sign-in information. If you don’t have Facebook on your mobile device, you can type in your username and password here. It’s easier to have Facebook already on the phone, as your name and password will already be available, in which case Tinder will use this information and log you in. Once Tinder identifies that you do have a Facebook account, you’ll be allowed to progress to the next step.

3.

Choose your profile pictures. As you synch the application with Facebook, you can select profile pictures from your Facebook account. However, you do not need to use these pictures if you don’t want. When you choose what pictures to select, you are given a source location. You can upload pictures of yourself from Facebook, or you can upload pictures from your mobile device, from a cloud connected service you have synched with your phone, or any other image library you have on or connected to your phone.


Choose what pictures you would like. You can upload up to six pictures. When the pictures are up, you can also reorder the images. You do this by pressing your finger down on the image and holding it. The image will become selected and raised above the other images. You can then drag it to the front of the image selection if you want it to be first.

​4.

​The last step in creating a profile is typing in personal information. You can type in a little about yourself, you can leave it blank, and you can input what you do for work or just what you’re looking for in a match. It’s best to not get too personal with the information you include, but it’s nice to offer a little snippet of information, even if it is just a joke. It helps give those messaging you something to go off of besides your pictures.

​How Does Tinder Work?

Now that you know how to create a profile on Tinder you’re ready for your next lesson on the question “how does Tinder work.” The main purpose of Tinder is to connect you with other individuals in the area. This is done in a straightforward way, and it is easy to adjust your personal settings for who you see and who sees you.

​Match Preferences

You will need to edit your match preferences. This is what Tinder goes off of to decide who it connects you with and who it shows you to. Log onto your Tinder account and go into the “Settings” section. Here you’ll be able to adjust this information. First, include your dating range. This can go anywhere from age 18 to 99, although you can slide it into a specific age range so you see just those in the desired age of people you are interested in.

man holding a rose bouquet

                                     Image Source: unsplash.com

Now, you’ll want to select the range from your mobile location. You can be within a small 10 or 25 miles range, or you can expand outward. The larger the range the more people you’ll match with, but also the further you must travel to meet them. If someone ends up standing you up on a date, you may not want to end up driving out 50 miles to the meet-up, so it’s recommended to keep it close.

Lastly, you’ll select the gender of people you’re interested in. You can see men or women or both. You can also select who sees your profile. Tinder will work off of this information in order to determine who you’re matched with. These are the basics when it comes to understanding how does Tinder work.

“Swipe Left” or “Swipe Right”

After you’ve made all your preferences and gone to the main section of the application, you’ll be shown a picture of someone who matches your established settings. You can flip through their pictures if you want to see more. If you are interested in them, you will swipe your finger right across their images. If you’re not interested in a possible match, you’ll swipe left.

The other individual will also eventually come across your profile. They have the same swipe left and swipe right option. If they also swipe right on you, then you have a match. Once the two of you match, you’re both allowed to message each other, and Tinder then works like an instant messenger application. From there you’re able to decide if, when, and where you meet up.

​How Does Tinder Work:

Tinder Plus/Gold

There is a pay option that offers another layer for Tinder and how to use your created profile. This is known as Tinder Plus or Tinder Gold (Tinder tends to change the name of the pay feature, but it works the same whatever it is titled).

Tinder Plus/Gold works in a similar manner to regular Tinder, so there are only some basic adjustments for Tinder Plus/Gold. The main difference is the number of “likes” you’re able to offer. With regular Tinder you have a limited number of likes. This is designed to prevent you from blowing through everyone in one given area during a short period of time.

If you live in a smaller area, this can be easier to do, but if you live in a major metro area, you’ll never go through everyone. With the Tinder Plus/Gold feature you have unlimited likes so you’ll never run out. This is the only real difference between regular Tinder and Tinder Plus/Gold

​Conclusion

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                                      Image Source: unsplash.com

​If you’re interested in meeting someone new one of the best options available to you is using a mobile application. Tinder is by far the most popular mobile dating application out there. The app is free to use (unless you want to pay for the monthly upgrade option). You can create a profile off of your Facebook account, and you can delete or cancel the application whenever you like. At the very least, it might be fun to see who else you can meet on Tinder and who you might match up with.

12 First Date Questions That’ll Tell You If There Should Be a Second Date

August 5, 2019 by  
Filed under Passion Into Your Relationship

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We’ve all been there: the sweaty palms, the butterflies, the constant pressure to be the best possible version of yourself. There is no doubt about it; first dates are hard. Within just a few short hours, you’re expected to determine if someone you hardly know could potentially be a suitable partner. To ease the pressure, we have prepared twelve first date questions that can help you determine whether a second date is worth your time.

Tips on Making a Great First Impression

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As the infamous quote says, “You never get a second chance to make a great first impression.” Despite being a little cliche, these words are practically gospel in the world of dating. Making a great first impression is key on a first date. Your date may not remember the food they ate or all of the topics that were discussed that evening, but they most certainly will never forget the way you looked and the way you acted during your time together.

Whether a blessing or a curse, first impressions are lasting and can either make or break a relationship. If you are going out with someone, you are hoping might be a keeper, making a great first impression is imperative. Here are some tips to ensure you make the best first impression possible.

YOU’RE NEVER FULLY DRESSED WITHOUT A SMILE

AMAZING COMMUNICATION SKILLS

FIRST DATE QUESTIONS

12 Make-Or-Break First Date Questions

Man and woman is enjoying their first date and drinking some beverage

Photo by Gregory Hayes on Unsplash

1. WHAT DO YOU ENJOY DOING FOR FUN?

While it might seem simple, this one question can help determine if your date is compatible with you and your lifestyle. If you are an outdoor enthusiast, but your date hates the great outdoors, it’s clear you two would not enjoy spending time together. Save both of you some time and cut things short at the end of the first date.

2. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK AND DO YOU LIKE IT?

One of the most fundamental questions is one of the most important. Did your date answer by saying he or she is always stressed, that they put in 40+ hours just to make their boss even slightly happy? If they answered this way, now might not be the best time to start a relationship with this person. If they say they are always spending their time working, they certainly won’t have the time to be with you.

3. IF YOU HAD THREE WISHES, WHAT WOULD THEY BE?

First date questions shouldn’t all be serious and analytical. Throw in some fun questions to get to know your date. This is also a good test to see how conversation flows between you two.

4. WHAT’S YOUR FAMILY LIKE?

Listen to the way your date talks about their family. Are they describing a loving and happy family, or a contentious and miserable one? You can discover a lot about someone from how they talk about their family, and if you aren’t liking what you’re hearing, that might be a sign this person just isn’t the one.

5. WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR LIFE GOALS?

Is your date ambitious, a dreamer, someone who aspires for more in life? Out of all of these first date questions, this one is perfect for delving deeper than just the surface level. With this question, you can learn about what drives them. You will also be able to see what they have planned for the future.

They might not come right out and tell you, but you also might get some idea if they want the same things out of life as you. Do they want to get married, have children, live in the city, etc.? If none of the things they are saying are part of your life plan, it might be best to end things after the first date. Doing so could potentially save a lot of future heartbreak and resentment.

6. WHAT ARE THINGS YOU’VE CHECKED OFF YOUR BUCKET LIST?

While similar to the previous question, this question provides insight into your date’s past and what they’ve accomplished so far. Are they go-getters that have done some great things? If so, you’ve probably found someone who likes to keep life interesting and fun.

7. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT…. (RELIGION, POLITICS, ETC.)

Politics and religion are not first date questions most people are readily willing to discuss. However, there are ways to ask this question delicately without provoking any heated or intense debate.

If there is one thing you feel strongly about or are an avid supporter of, it might not be a bad idea to bring this up in conversation. If your date disagrees, do not get upset or defensive, simply use their answer to help you determine if you can accept their beliefs or not. Don’t feel bad if there’s something you can’t look past; they probably feel the same way.  

8. HOW LONG AGO WAS YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP?

Just like the question about politics, nobody wants to talk about their previous relationships, especially with someone you are just starting to get to know. But just like the question about politics, you can find out if your date recently ended things with a long-term partner, meaning your date might not be ready yet to commit to someone new.

9. WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR PET PEEVES?

Does your date hate something you know you are guilty of? If it’s something you feel you can and will change for them, then there probably won’t be an issue. However, if their pet peeve is a big part of who you are and what you do, it wouldn’t be worth it to continue past the first date.

10. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE?

This is another question to see how similar you and your date’s tastes are. Not necessarily a deal-breaker, as many couples can make their difference in movie tastes work, but this question can help you plan for future date ideas. Did your date mention they would love to see that new action-thriller that just came out that you have been dying to see, as well? It looks like you found your second date idea!

11. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

For many people, this question can certainly be a deal-breaker. A die-hard dog lover might find it difficult to find love with a die-hard cat-person. If you are one of these people that takes a firm side on this age-old debate, it might be best to find someone who shares the same opinion as you.

12. DID YOU ENJOY YOUR MEAL?

Maybe a simple question, but your date’s response to this question can be helpful in finding out more about them. Did they compliment the food and the restaurant, or were they quick to insult the waiter or the blandness of their entrée? Negativity is something nobody wants around.

Answering Honestly: Why It’s Important

Man and woman first date at the restaurant

Photo by Huy Phan on Unsplash

Even though you may want to use these first date questions to get to know your date, inevitably they will ask you many, if not all, of these same questions. As you prepare for your date, try to put yourself in their position; thinking of your own answers to these questions.

As you do this exercise, remember another classic cliche, “honesty is the best policy.” Although the temptation to make yourself seem like the most exciting person on this planet can be appealing, just stay true to yourself. Always answer these questions, and any others your date might ask you, with complete and utter honesty.

First dates are meant to be a time to get to know one another, to determine if there’s any spark that could blossom into something lasting. Think about how you would feel if you knew your date was lying just to impress you. While it might seem flattering at first, you would soon realize that you know nothing about this person and that you might not be as compatible as you originally believed. Do yourself, and your date, a favor by answering these first date questions honestly.

Conclusion

Man is holding a cup of coffee while the woman is holding his left hand on their first date at the cafe

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

Finding your perfect match can take time, which also can, unfortunately, mean a lot of first dates. The good news is that figuring out compatibility can be made much easier by asking the right first date questions. These twelve questions are perfect to help you get to know your date. By the end of the first date, you’ll know without a doubt if this person is worth seeing again, and with all of their answers, you’ll even be able to plan the perfect second date.

Featured Image by Napaporn Sripirom from Pixabay


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