Plans are laid, your mouth is dry, and somehow you just can’t stop your hands from shaking. You’re supposed to be picking your date up in an hour, yet your hair won’t do what you want, your palms are sweaty and nervous energy surrounds your body like a cocoon.
Dating is like a game, the more you do it, the better you get. Some people have natural talent when it comes to dating, and some people have to try, try and try again. But like a game, you have a much better chance of winning if you keep in mind the rules of play.
Look Your Best
Looks aren’t everything, but good hygiene, neat appearance and a pleasant body odor can come in handy when playing the dating game. Take some time to put yourself together. Your date will appreciate the effort, and it shows that you care about your appearance.
Confidence is a Man’s or Woman’s Best Friend
To win the dating game every time, confidence is required. Confidence is sexy. Both men and women are attracted to it, so it’s important that you gain some. This doesn’t mean you should be cocky, egotistical or jerky. It just means you should seem like you’re confident being you, and all that entails.
You’ll gain some extra points in the dating game if you can make your date laugh, talk and enjoy themselves through conversation. If you can keep your date interested, the second date is just around the corner. Pull out some of your amusing or funny stories, and ask your date some questions, without getting too personal. Don’t talk about yourself too much either. Instead, just try to go with the flow, and keep the conversation as natural and free flowing as possible, without any awkward silences.
Smiling alone can help you win a second date. Smiling is attractive, and puts people at ease. Try to smile as often as possible, without seeming like a grinning lunatic.
Use your manners and be polite. Nothing is as big a turn off as someone who is rude and obnoxious. If you want to woo your date then it’s in your best interests to be as polite as possible, whenever possible.
By playing by the rules, you too can win the dating game every time and earn yourself a second, third or fourth date.
You’re on your first date, a little nervous, trying to loosen up, so you have a martini –or two or three – before dinner. Then some wine with dinner. Suddenly you find yourself talking about your ex-boyfriend (he was such an asshole! Nothing like the guy you’re out with tonight!). And then that other ex-boyfriend (also an asshole), until you’ve given your date a drunken detailed primer to your former dating life. Don’t hold your breath waiting for a call about a second date.
We’ve all done our share of dating faux pas, and had to live to remember them. While they make for amusing fodder for Sunday brunch chatting with the girlfriends, it sucks to go on a date and completely ruin any future chances by falling into a typical dating trap. Drinking too much and talking about your ex are two surefire ways to ruin your chances of a second date.
Aside from giving detailed history lessons about your dating past, try to avoid being “emotionally slutty.” If it’s your first date, now is not the time to talk about all of the problems life has loaded upon you, like your parents’ divorce, your grandmother’s funeral, how you got fired from your job, the time when you were five and your puppy got hit by a car and died. It’s a first date – it should be fun, easy and exciting! Don’t bring it down by getting too serious. You’ll just freak the poor guy out – and bum yourself out.
While being an “emotional slut” is not advised, being just straight-up slutty is also a big No. I know, so cliché – but it’s true: Sleeping with a guy on the first date will make him (a) wonder, “how often does she do that!?” and (b) assume that you’re not a serious relationship kind of gal. Yes, there are times when a first-date sleepover can lead to future dates and a serious relationship but let’s be realistic – the relationship is most likely to progress to “booty call” status, if anything.
Aside from making yourself look like a fool, you can also freak out your date by placing too much attention on him with interview-style grilling. Asking questions is good, but firing one after the other at your date can be scary. You should be having a conversation, telling him about yourself too, not grilling him for his marriage-ability. (You can always get to that later).
Last but not least, the ultimate dating faux pas that is most likely to get you into trouble and spur you on to commit one of the other dating sins is drinking too much! Maybe you feel funnier or more outgoing for a while, but after a certain point, it’s just more likely to make you act like a moron. You’re more likely to spill into emotional histories and ex-boyfriend stories, and more likely to hop into bed with him without considering the consequences. So lay off the cosmopolitans (well, not completely), sit back, relax, and enjoy your date. And afterwards? Expect his call in two to three days.
You’re a great guy. You treat women with the utmost respect, you’re polite, dependable and an all around good guy. You’ve probably asked yourself on more than one occasion, why women love bad guys? How do guys like Tommy Lee get hot women, while you struggle to keep any woman? How does the scruffy bad boy biker living next door find lots of women and have little difficulty keeping them?
It’s simple, really. Women love bad guys, because they’re exciting. Bad guys are unpredictable, out of the norm and different. The very elements that make them bad guys are what draw women to them. Isn’t that ironic? No wonder people say love makes no sense.
The good guys on the other hand, may be dependable, but they also tend to be boring. They wake up every morning at the same time, go to work, come home at the same time, eat dinner, watch TV and go to bed. They provide a good life for their family, are ideal for raising a family, but women get bored and start to search for something a little more exciting.
However, there are a few ways you can prevent this from happening. If your woman loves bad boys, you have to learn to be both a good guy and bad. Sounds impossible, right? It’s not. The most successfully married men have learned this lesson a long time ago.
Even if you’re comfortably ensconced in a relationship, you need to continue to excite your partner. It may seem irrelevant to date your partner at this point, but it may be the difference between a long happy marriage and a messy divorce.
Excite her, you can give her the same things she is looking for in a bad boy, but combined with the qualities of a good boy. Be dangerous. Take her out parachuting, mountain climbing, bar hopping and show her your wild side now and again. Make love to her on a public beach or trail. Get crazy on the dance floor or do something goofy to make her laugh in public. Show her that you have a bad boy side!
You may be wrapped in a good boy package, but everyone has a bad boy in them, even if it is buried down deep in some people. Now that you know why women love bad guys, you’re armed ready to fight back.
How are you going to admit this to people? Your perfect relationship, the one that was destined to last forever … it’s over. What went wrong? How could you have let something so wonderful just slip through your fingers without even realizing it?
The truth is relationships fail for all sorts of reasons. However, there are a top few that tend to permeate stories of love gone wrong.
It’s been said over and over again – “money is the root of all evil.” Whether or not that is entirely true, it is indeed at the root of many relationship problems. Both partners need to be on the same page as far as money is concerned. Issues can arise when one person is a saver and the other is a spender. Any major purchases should be discussed and agreed upon prior to buying. Even daily expenditures can become a problem. Be sure you both understand where the money is coming from in your relationship and where it will go.
At the heart of money and all other issues is generally a lack of communication. Some couples don’t talk about things that bother them. Others talk, but their conversations tend to deteriorate into arguments. Another group tends to assume their partners can read their minds and should know what is at the heart of any problem. Obviously, this isn’t the case.
Putting the time and the effort into reaching a level of communication that involves equal parts speaking and listening, as well as a healthy dose of understanding and a heavy coating of thick skin can go a long way towards keeping a relationship happy.
Just talking about a problem isn’t enough. Every problem needs a resolution. Even the best communicators can fail at this point. If either side (or worse, both sides) refuse to budge, all the talking in the world won’t fix things. Relationships require compromise and a lot of it. Even if a couple is perfectly in synch on every issue for a long time, eventually they will run across something they don’t see eye to eye on. This is where compromise becomes necessary. Both people need to be willing to give a little so they can reach a decision they are both able to live with.
While it is wonderful to paint a picture of your relationship as existing in its own little bubble, both people involved have families who were with them long before they met each other and will likely stick around for the remainder of their lives. The importance of this group of people cannot be ignored. They can be friends, confidantes, or even the measure against which your relationship is compared. Remember the old saying– “you don’t just marry the person, you marry the family.” Do not dismiss their family as unimportant. Do not try to break the bonds that exist between them. Instead, try to form your own bonds with the other person’s family. If that isn’t possible, at least try to keep your feelings about them from destroying the relationship you hold dear.
There are certainly other problems that can affect and destroy relationships, but the above four are often at the heart of the issue. If those are kept in check, everything else can be dealt with as it comes along, and your relationship is likely to last as long as you want it to.
Many people refer to dating as a game. It’s understandable. I mean, you go out and try to figure out in a few hours whether or not the man or woman sitting across the table from you is worth going out with again. People in the dating game make up elaborate plans in order to boost their success rate, while trying to figure out the right place to find a suitable mate. No wonder people call it the dating game!
Yet there is a relatively new piece in the dating game, and that piece is the Internet. Now, more than ever, people can sit in the comfort of their own home, browse profiles, chat online and get an idea of what the other person is like, just by asking a few questions.
The Internet is fast becoming the best place to find suitable single people. Millions of singles are hooking up and building successful relationships over the Internet. However, if you’re looking to find a suitable single guy or gal over the Internet, there are a few things you should keep in mind.
Sure a profile is great, and most people assume they’re accurate, but this isn’t always the case. People can lie better over the net, than they could in person. It’s important that you keep your profile up to date, and keep in mind that the one you’re viewing on your glowing computer screen might not be as honest as you think.
There are successful long distance relationships, but they are more likely to fail. The stresses of driving back and forth, plus the added strain of not being able to see each other very often, take their toll. In most cases, it’s far better to find someone online who is close to you.
The guy or gal, who you’re talking to, may be a veritable beauty queen or George Clooney look-a-like, but do they share any of your interests? If you’d like to win the jackpot in the dating game, you may want to make sure they share at least a few interests that you do. Chat with them, find out what they like to do in their spare time, and you’ll get a better idea of what kind of person they are, and whether or not you’re compatible as a couple.
If you use good judgment, ask questions and be discerning when it comes to online personalities, you can win the dating game and find suitable single people every time.
You’ve been out on a few dates recently, but none of them seem to be working out. You don’t seem to have a problem actually getting the date, but somehow the second date never comes. What are you doing wrong? Are you breaking some kind of dating rule?
Probably. You’re probably breaking the biggest date rule of them all: learn how to communicate. Learning how to communicate effectively is the single best way of getting asked out on a second date. Communicating badly, which can be done in several different ways, is a surefire way to mess up any date, regardless of how much thought and effort you’ve put into trying to make it a success.
What you need to remember when going out on a date is that you want the other person to get a better idea of the kind of person you are, without talking too much or too little. People who talk about themselves too much, are a real turn off. Not only that, but they’re annoying. For some people it’s in their nature to talk about themselves, and yet other people babble, because they’re nervous, which is natural. Instead, get the other person to talk about himself or herself, and maintain some mystery. By doing this, the other person will want a second date, just to learn more about you.
Talking too little is another surefire way to mess up any date. Your dating partner doesn’t want to go out on a date with a manikin! They want you to talk, make them laugh and they want to get a little insight into who you are and what you’re all about. Make it easier for them, and open up a little.
People love to laugh. Laughter is infectious, and sexy. This doesn’t mean you have to be the next Chris Rock, it just means you should try to loosen up and enjoy yourself. Tell your date a few funny stories or a joke to liven things up a bit. If you can make him or her laugh, you’re half way to getting a second date.
Just remember to be yourself. A surefire way to mess up any date is to be a fake, which is another communication problem. Be confident, slightly mysterious and make them laugh. Those are the keys to any successful date and the path towards a second.
Most people keep their true selves hidden, especially when they want to impress someone. This fact has a way of biting people in the butts when dating. You meet a guy or girl, both are looking for a relationship, and it’s only natural that you want to show off your polished attributes while hiding your more tarnished side. After all, when you’re first meeting a possible romantic partner, you don’t want them to know that you roll your socks up into balls, or leave the toilet seat up after you’ve gone to the bathroom.
However, some people are better at hiding their true selves than others. Sometimes you can be in a committed relationship before you learn that your partner has some unsavory attributes that he or she had successfully kept hidden until now. While leaving the toilet seat up might be mildly annoying, the fact that your new live-in partner likes to punch holes in walls or fling ashtrays at your head when angry, isn’t something that can be passed off as annoying.
There are a few ways that you can test their personality before you commit. For instance, watch how they react when under stress. Most people can keep their true selves under wraps when everything is right in the world, but can’t maintain the mirage when under strain. Watch carefully how they react when angry, sad, annoyed or upset. In most cases, this is when their true colors will come shining through.
You can also watch how they treat the people around them. Does your new boyfriend treat his mom like a queen? Does your new girlfriend maliciously gossip about everyone when hanging out with her friends? If so, you can bet your bottom dollar that this is an indication of what they are like when not trying to impress someone.
You can also watch how they interact with strangers. Suppose you go out to a restaurant for a bite to eat, and the waiter brings them an order of shrimp, instead of the clams they originally ordered. Do they react angrily? Or do they just shrug it off, make a joke, and wait calmly for the waiter to fix their order? If they are a jerk over something so easily corrected, how are they going to be with you, if you screw something up? Everyone makes mistakes, but ideally you want a partner that’s going to be understanding, and not over-react.
The bottom line is, that people have a hard time pretending to be something they’re not, when the going gets rough. Every relationship has its ups and downs, and you want to make sure that when the going gets rough…your partner isn’t a jerk. By watching their actions and reactions before hand, you can spy out potential relationship ending problems that will crop up in the future.
Women usually have a knack for remembering dates, such as anniversaries, special occasions and birthdays. Men on the other hand…don’t. There might be a man that has God-like memory powers, but they are rare. If you want to sleep on the couch in the near future, just ruin her birthday. Here are the quickest ways to do that:
The quickest and surest way to ruin her birthday is to forget about it. Don’t buy a gift and don’t mention it, and you’re well on your way to the fight of your life. It’s in your better interest to mark her birthday on a calendar, one you look at often, in order to prevent this sort of disaster from happening.
Buy a Dumb Gift
You’ve probably heard horror stories of the guy who bought his wife a vacuum cleaner for their anniversary. If you want to ruin her birthday, try buying her a power tool you’ve been coveting for six months or tickets to the big game. She’ll assume (rightly) that you are a selfish boor, and only think of yourself. Next stop: the couch. Do not pass Go, do not collect…well…anything.
Invite Someone to Her Party She Doesn’t Like
If you want to ruin her birthday, invite someone to her party that she’s uncomfortable around. For instance, if you really want to ruin her birthday, invite one of your ex girlfriends to the party or someone she’s feuding with.
Remember, just because you like the person, doesn’t mean she does. And it is her birthday, so why not try to invite people she likes?
Treat Her to a McDonalds
If your motto is, “Go cheap or go home,” there is a very good chance you’re going to ruin your woman’s birthday in the near future. Do not, under any circumstances, take her to McDonalds or Burger King for her birthday. She wants to feel special and loved, and these particular eating establishments do not ooze that atmosphere. Sure, a Big Mac might taste great going down, and your wallet will appreciate you, but your woman will not. Take her out somewhere nice. Show her how special she is and you won’t regret it.
A woman’s birthday is important to them. They expect you to remember, and the very act of forgetting is seen as a sign that they’re not important enough to you, to remember. Don’t make the mistakes found in this article. Some of them are tempting, but deep down you really don’t want to ruin her birthday, do you?
One very real barrier to a lot of people when it comes to their social lives is their wallet. A flash date can cost hundreds of dollars, and many people just don’t have that kind of money to play around with. But the good news is you can have a great date without all that expense.
The next time you want to take a man or woman out on a date, try doing something less costly, more creative and in a lot of ways, more fun. For instance, you could go for a walk along the water, play catch or Frisbee in a park, have a picnic or take a bike tour of your city or nearby trails.
And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There are no shortages of great date ideas that don’t come with a huge price tag attached. How about playing a board game or charades, while sipping wine and eating cheese? Or you could find your nearest ice-cream parlor and share a cone. Take a day trip and sleep in your car, go to the beach, check out a movie at the nearest drive-in, go for a hike or head down the river in a rented canoe.
Figuring out date ideas without the expense just takes a little bit more imagination on your part. Yet many people don’t even think about it, but instead drain their bank accounts, all in the name of love. They never consider the fact that a less expensive, but more imaginative date could be far more effective.
Think about it for a second. If you were asked out on a date, wouldn’t you appreciate it if someone did something out of the ordinary to impress you? It wouldn’t seem cheap, just more fun. Plus, most of the date ideas mentioned above have the added bonus of conversation time. The main idea of dating is to get to know someone a little better, and by doing something where conversation is likely, you’re way ahead of the game.
Don’t let money stop you from dating! Use some of the great date ideas mentioned in this article or think outside the box, and come up with your own. Money doesn’t have to be an issue. There are plenty of great date ideas without the expense, just waiting for you to try them out.
Is your relationship creaking along, with neither you nor your partner being satisfied? Does your relationship need a tune up? If you’re unsure of the answer, that may signal you need to rethink how your relationship works. However, here are a few signs that your relationship does need a tune up.
Do You Talk?
It’s important to stay in touch with your partner. Ask them how their day was, see if they have any amusing stories or just shoot the crap about a recent news story you heard. It doesn’t really matter what you talk about, as long as you still enjoy each other’s company. If you or your partner don’t talk very much, it’s likely your relationship needs a tune up.
Are You Restless?
In most relationships, couples tend to fall into a routine. Over time they forget what it was that attracted them to their partner in the first place. Restaurants, dancing, moonlit walks and candlelight become a distant dream.
If you’re feeling restless, irritable or as if you’re missing out on something, it might be time to reevaluate your relationship. It’s important for couples to continue to date, even though they have been together for months, years or decades. Give your relationship a tune up, by getting back to your romantic roots every now and again.
If you can’t even be in the same room as your partner without walking on eggshells or breaking a few eggs verbally, you may need a relationship tune up. Many couples avoid conflict by saving up real or perceived hurts, instead of being open and honest with one another. Over time, this leads to resentment and arguments.
It’s important to talk to your partner, and take each other’s feelings into consideration, even though you might not agree with them. Failing to do this is almost sure to lead to a relationship meltdown.
If you’re starting to look at other men or women, and wondering what it would be like to date them, your relationship needs a serious tune up. You need to figure out immediately why you’re feeling this way and fix it pronto, before your wandering eyes lead to infidelity.
If you recognize one or more of these signs in your relationship, it’s time to get a tune up before it’s too late. If you care about your partner, don’t let your relationship crash and burn.